Sunday, November 20, 2016

Dear Reader,

I guess there's no better way to get back into the blogging game than to jump in and get dirty.  Here we go.

I've alluded to some things that have kept me from wanting to blog, because of their personal nature. This is one of them.  As best as I figure, four years ago yesterday, I spoke with one of my best friends for the last time.  I've spoken to her since, but it's always been a one-sided conversation.  Four years ago, my friend and co-worker died from a drug overdose.  I think that's about all I want to say about that right now.  What I do want to say is how much I miss her.  It seems to be this awful, weird kind of routine where I build up enough scar tissue to feel "normal", but then something wears it down, and the pain and loneliness comes right back. 

For the past few years, I've gone back through my work emails to try to lay down a timeline of what happened when.  Today, I charted it out when I spoke to her last.  I was working in the CR, and was surprised to get a phone call from her, it being her "weekend."  The week prior, we'd been talking about the Twilight movie series, and how the final film had just been released to theaters.  I encouraged her to go all out, buy the expensive tickets for the 3D sound and moving chairs and whatnot, because why not?  It was the final film of the series.  Anyway, she'd just gotten done watching the movie, and called me at work to thank me for encouraging her to go all the way with the fancy tickets.  I thought nothing more of it, knowing that I'd get tortured with all the play-by-play details when I saw her again when we both worked.

That day never came. 

Melissa, I miss you.  I love you and I wish we had more time to talk about and laugh at stupid stuff.  I wish I could pester you more about needing to watch the Star Wars movies... and maybe even relent and watch your silly Twilight movies.  I wish you were still here.